Got Worries?

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

This past week, we needed to take our daughter to the doctor’s office. They needed her to have some blood drawn. As we are sitting in the waiting room, I can see she is nervous and anxious about having this procedure. Like most of us, she doesn’t like the thought of needles. So, she was sitting very close to me and holding my arm. At this point, I really don’t know who was more nervous her or me. Mike, on the other hand, is just sitting there checking email, sending texts, and remaining calm. (He’s better at handling these situations than I am.)

“Victoria?” When they called her name, we got up and walked to the cold, sterile room for her to have her blood drawn. The lady approached us with a smile and a warm greeting. That put me at ease but she still unnerved Victoria. It didn’t even help that there was an older lady in the office having the same procedure named Victoria. (I thought it was neat.) So, she told Victoria what she was about to do and how she could cooperate to make it easier. Well, as you can imagine, it didn’t help. Once she tightened the rubber band on her arm to secure a good vein, the drama began. Now she was breathing heavily, the tears were falling, and she was talking loudly. The only other time I have seen her in this state was the first time I laid her on the counter so she could get her hair washed. (That was a sight: It took 3 of us just to get her to lay down!) The ladies calm demeanor did nothing. Me struggling to find an iCarly video on youtube did nothing. Showing her the video did nothing. She was going to have to find a vein in the other arm. So, Daddy came on the scene.

She asked to sit in Daddy’s lap. At that moment, I could have sworn someone switched my child. She was calm. She was quiet. She was at peace. How did my husband do that? While I watched I knew God was showing me something…

How many times do I focus on the problem, the unfamiliar, and the challenging? I began to worry, panic and overreact-just like our Victoria. I don’t cooperate with Him. I struggle against His will. In those times, He invites me to “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” When I come to Him and rest in Him, I can experience the peace that passes all understanding.

I am coming to climb on your lap, Father!

Let Go of Negative Emotions

“Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” James 1:19

I was just about to lose it! This was the third time my child asked me something about his homework when I felt he should know how to do it. But, before I could even get a word out, I heard: “Give him the benefit of the doubt.” At work, I am usually the one who always tries to spin something in its most positive light. At church, I always try to encourage people with the hope filled in God’s Word. (I am seeing a pattern here.) At home, though, I was not being a top performer. My children are usually the recipients of my impatient, frustrated, and tired self.

Since I am an expressive person by nature, my impatience, frustration, and fatigue shows loud and clear. My voice is raised. My tone is sharp. My brows are furrowed. It is not a pretty picture. Still, when I heard, “Give him the benefit of the doubt.” I realized I needed to let go of my negative emotions. So, I calmed down.

Lord, help me be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Amen.

Let Go of the Busy-Ness

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.” Luke 10:41

In January 2009, God showed me my misplaced priorities. During my quiet time one morning, he said, “family first”. My family was important but if you looked at my weekly activities, they were not first. So, I applied for a new position that would give me more time with my family. When I received it, I was so excited. Still, I had to fight the temptation of putting other activities on my calendar. Then, while reading one of Kathy Peel’s (America’s Family Manager) books she stated a life-changing principle that I hold onto to this day: When you say YES to something, you are saying NO to something else.”
I was so glad to be free yet I was running back to the bondage of busy-ness.

Similarly, when Jesus went to visit Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, he ran into another woman with misplaced priorities. Martha wanted everything to be just right for Jesus, but it was a lot of work and she felt like it was wrong for her sister not to help her. But, if Mary were to say yes to helping around the house she would have been saying NO to receiving Jesus’ message. So, Jesus let Martha know that Mary had her priorities in order.

As a mother, it’s so easy to overbook our schedules and even our children’s schedule-all in the name of giving them the best. The best is this- a mother that has a relationship with God and a relationship with them.

What activity(ies) do you need to let go of so you can spend more time with God? And spend more time with your children? When will you do it?

Let Go

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
Do you remember playing tug of war? Two teams pulling in their own direction competing to win by exerting more strength to pull the other team over the line. Interestingly, as I got older some of my opposing teams thought it would funny to simply let go of the rope and let us look silly bumping into and falling on top of each other.

When it comes to being a mother, I have often felt like God and I were on different sides and I was pulling one way while He was pulling another. Only to discover, God wasn't playing tug of war with me. I was playing tug of war with me. All to0 often, I would be competing with unrealistic expectations I had for myself, concerns of what others think of me, business of life, and the most competitive opponent- me and my need for control.

God has been teaching me, though, to let go. Let go of the rope. When I let go, there is no competition. When I let go, I am totally surrendered to what He desires for me. I am learning to trust Him and spend time in prayer and meditation submitting to His way of parenting. After all, my way has been wearing me out.

Are You Frustrated Yet?

I am. In fact, I have been frustrated for the last year and a half. Something’s gotta give. I think it's going to be me.

I have been giving more time, attention, energy and fun to my job and my dreams. Yes, I have planned what my ideal life looks like in five years. I have a picture of the home of my dreams hanging in a nice frame in my bathroom. I have submitted manuscripts for publication. Just the thought of all the possibilities excite me! Still, accomplishing all these things will mean nothing if I go through all my life without being a good Mom.

I am a wife and mother of five wonderful children ages 8 and under. My husband and I have always wanted five children. Even with five children, I have high expectations of what a good Mom is supposed to do. Herein, lays my problem. When I don't live up to those expectations: reading to them every night before bed, rebuking them calmly with a smile on my face, or feeding them the healthiest meals (instead of a $5 pizza I pick up on the way to church), I pack all my bags and head on a "guilt trip". I don't like it when this happens and I want it to stop. So, I began to rationalize things by telling myself, "you're a mother of five", "you work a full-time job", and the list goes on. And what I have come to discover is: A good Mom is. It's not about what I do. It's all about who I am.

So, I am going to "be" a good Mom. I am going to "be" in the moment. I am going to "be" there. I am going to "be" attentive. I am going to "be” a good example.

Are you frustrated yet? What are you going to do differently?